last bits of october

i have found
myself
in a strange place.

anxious.
unsettled.

watching
hurricane sandy
and soon
the elections
from afar...

preparing
to move away
for 3 months...

everything
is a bit
up in the air,
so to speak.




i find
peace
in organizing...
arranging
my bits a pieces
into collections.
neatly placing things
in boxes
to store
for the winter
that
i will miss
in switzerland.

i came across
this image
the other day
in a magazine...




i love this
idea of organizing
objects that
vee finds on our walks.
feathers,
leaves...
and soon,
shells
and driftwood.



xo

a route familiar

i was thinking
on my way home
yesterday evening
that
my route home
is now so familiar
after living here
for well over
a year...



but
it seems that
no matter
how long
i live here
and
no matter
how well
i speak french
i will always
feel like
an outsider.



for this reason
i wonder
if
i can ever
truly
call this place
my home.

xo

thankful

we have
a lot
to be
thankful for
this year
more than
any other year.

i finished
my phd.

we moved
to switzerland.

we had
a little
girl.



sometimes
we forget
amidst
the worrying
about
this and that.



we tend
to focus
on what
we do not have
because
sometimes
these things
seem
insurmountable.
those are
the things
that use to
keep us up at night
before
we had a baby.



i won't
deny that
we are often
lonely
far away
from
family
and friends.
it seems
strange
to be lonely
when
i have grub
and
he has me
and
we have
wee grub.



but
anyone who
has moved
knows
this
type of
loneliness
well.

plus
parenthood
can be
quite
isolating
in its
own way...



we are
home for
long stretches
of time
focused
on
the care
of
one little person
which would
seem
to be
a
very simple task.
but
it takes
all your time
and
you
are
suddenly
absent
from all
social
interactions
until you
can muster
up the energy
to face
the world
outside.



for
these reasons
celebrating
thanksgiving
seemed especially
important
to us
this year.

we searched
for the
traditional
ingredients
in neuchâtel
and
finally found
a whole turkey
but
i failed
to find
pumpkin
in a can.
grub
cooked
up a storm.



i dressed
wee grub
in the
appropriate
turkey day
garb.



a little
pair
of socks
arrived
in the mail
from eliza
to complete
the outfit.
and
we celebrated
with our
new friends.



as we move
into
the
holiday season
in a foreign land
we will
savor
what we can
of
our new life
and
enjoy
time
with new friends.



we send
our love
home
to those
we miss
but
we will
see them
again
very soon.



hope
you all
had
a
wonderful
thanksgiving.

xo

s i o n

when we lived
in
washington dc
grub & i
loved
to
take autumn drives
in the countryside.
it's our
favorite time
of year.

the vineyards
around neuchâtel
began to
create
a patchwork
quilt
of yellow
orange,
and a
deep red
we both
were itching
to get out
of town
and see
the autumn colors.

we put
our wee grub
into
her carrier,
packed
a bag for
the day,
and headed
to the train station.

grub chose
our destination.
the town of
sion-
the capitol
of the
valais canton.












a fog
hangs over
neuchâtel
at this time
of year.
we heard
the climate
is milder
and drier
in sion.
sion
is surrounded
by vineyards
and,
not one,
but two
medieval castles
overlook
the town.
valère and tourbillon.

unfortunately
it was still
a grey day
in sion
but the weather
was warm.
we
wandered
through
the tiny streets
and peeked
into
courtyards,
wandered down
charming passageways,
and
caught glimpses
of
the mountains
and
the castles
perched
on the
hills above.

as evening
fell,
we headed
home on
the train
with
all the
commuters
anxious
to begin their
weekend.
the train windows
became
mirrors
reflecting
the
faces
of strangers.

xo

weekend drive

we took a ride
in the country
for halloween.
i had the urge
to go
apple-picking
or
to visit
a pumpkin patch.

we did neither.

we packed some
sandwiches
from taylor
and stopped
by a winery
to eat them
near a pond
and
a big maple tree.


we took roads
that looked
interesting.

we saw
fields of cows,


strange bags
that hung
from trees,


an old
railroad crossing,




and
a farmers co-op.



we ended up
at
inn at little washington
because
we were curious.
we shared
a glass of french wine
that smelled
like petrol.

when we left
the restaurant
it was dark
and
the streets
had filled with
children
dressed
and excited
for candy.

made me
wish i was
a kid again-
headed out
with my pillowcase
in my pippi longstocking
costume.
ready to fill my bag
with candy
that was sure
to make me ill.

a perfect
halloween.

goodbye october.


hello november.
xo

pupation

we met
in the spring
but
it was in the fall
that
we fell in love.



how could i help it?
a girl
from
s. california
is not use
to the delirium
of
colors
and
the sweet smell
of senescence
in the air.
or
sidewalks covered
in wet leaves
like the
matted-down fur
of a dog
come in
from the rain.



this
past weekend
grub & i
escaped
the city
to the
horse country
of virginia
for
a wine-tasting
birthday party.



i was reminded
how much
i love
to walk
in the immensity
of this time
of year.
it must be
the
sturm und drang
that runs
thick
in my
german blood
but
it is
those gray days
on the countryside
that put me
most at ease.



when the
cool wetness
of the air
wraps around you.
the musty smell
of decay.
the preparation
for a long sleep.



i often wish
i was like
a caterpillar.
i could crawl
to the soil
or a nook in
the bark of a tree.
slowly
i would knit
my pupal case.
curled up
inside
i could wait
until
better weather
returns.



have a great
weekend.

xo