oven love

i don't like
to cook.
i admit it.

this is often
a surprise to people
because
i love to eat
and
i am very picky
about
what
and
where
i eat
(i have been
known to send back
a grilled cheese
at a bar).



i blame it on
my upbringing.
you see,
my sister suzanne,
who is seven years older,
is a great cook
and loves
to cook.
my sister
is the oldest
and
i am
the youngest
of 5.
my mother
claims
that she once
enjoyed cooking.
i figure that
by the time
i came around
my mother
was damn tired
of cooking.
for her it was
a chore.
so that's how
i learned it.



also,
my father
and mother
have
the exact opposite
taste in cooking
(among other things).
to illustrate this
is to describe
their breakfast.
my father
will poach an egg
in oil
(it makes me
sick to watch)
and will fry
some meat from
last night's dinner
to go with it.
my mother
would be happy
with
some yogurt,
fruit,
maybe a croissant
or piece of toast,
and the
obligatory
cup of tea.
if she ate
an egg, it would be
soft boiled
and she gently chip
the top off the egg
with her knife
and dip
slivers of toast
into it.



so my dad
did not care
for her cooking
and
would rarely
have positive
things
to say
about it.

growing up
under
this
food drama
taught me
at a young age
to
always
appreciate
the cook
and to
never
ever
offer a cook
advice
unless asked.

i was fortunate
enough
to partner
with someone
who loves to cook.
i mean
he really enjoys it.
when he wants
to relax
he cooks.
this is a mystery
to me.
he tells me
that
i facilitate
his love of cooking
because
i wait
patiently
(we learned early
we needed to have
bread & cheese available
to avoid
altercations),
i am always
appreciative,
and
well,
i love to eat.

but oddly,
i actually
enjoy baking.
i realize
it's because
i have a tense
relationship
with the stove
and
i love the oven.
i like mixing everything up
and
then putting
it in the oven.
i love dough.
and,
if i do say so myself,
i have a feel for dough.
i know when it's
too wet,
or too dry
and what to do.
i attribute it
to my years taking
ceramics.
i also like
the science
of baking.
it appeals to me.
i love ratios.
i love
the smell of
yeast.
but i have been
shy of the kitchen
since
we have such
a love-hate
relationship
(i love
what comes out of it
but
i hate being in it).
also,
for most
of our relationship,
grub has ruled
the kitchen.
and i was
happy
to rule
the rest
of the house.

but now
i am eyeing
the kitchen
and new recipes
have
tempted me
to find
my way
back into
the kitchen.



i
envision
more
bread,
pizza,
and
pies
on the horizon.
oh,
and cookies!
because
everyone knows
tea
is best
with
a good cookie.
xo