you've got mail

when i was
little
i liked to write
letters.

in school,
as far back as
i can remember
when it was
time to take out
crayons or markers
i would make
a card.
usually for my mom.
i would draw
people and penguins
(i had a thing
for penguins)
on grass,
near a house
with the
typical sun
and clouds.

inside
i would write
something like:

dear mommy,
i hope you had a good day.
i love you.

sometimes
i would write
to my brothers.
but then
i'd make
sure to say
i like you.
since you
don't tell your brothers
you love them
when you are
little.
or at least
i didn't.
ewww.

i had
a series
of intense
letter exchanges
with friends
in elementary school
and
in high school.
usually these
exchanges
were with friends
i saw all the time
but somehow
we expressed something
different about
ourselves when
we wrote letters
to each other.

when i lived
in germany
with my uncle & aunt
i would eat lunch
by the window
and
wait for the postman.
it was
my only connection
to the familar-
letters from home.

in college
i still wrote
to many of my friends.
i bought
an old typewriter
and loved sitting
in my attic room
banging away
on the old keys.
email was
still
in its
fledgling
years.



i received
many letters
from
my brothers
and
my friend
elizabeth.
usually elaborately
decorated.
i distinctly
remember
the joy
i felt
when i found one
in my
dorm hall mailbox.
i savored
those letters
waiting
for the perfect time
to open them.
sometimes
in my favorite spot
overlooking the
university
or after dinner
in my room
with a cup of tea.

i have saved
every
single
letter.
they are in
a big box
in my parent's barn.
every now
and again
i go through them.
they are
better than photographs
because
they tell you
more about
who
we were...
what
we thought
where
we were
years
and
years
ago.

then
email
took over
and research
and school
ate up
all my time.
blogging was
the closest
i got
to letter writing.
it was
my letter
to everyone.



i have rarely
written
a letter
except the occasional
thank you
or
birthday card.

in the
past year
i have felt
a great deal
of sadness
about
the connections
i have lost
as i get older...
about the friends
i have neglected.

honestly,
i hate email.
i am on the computer
all the time.
i spend
most of my day
looking at a screen.
so i am bad
about responding
to an email.
i am not inspired
to write
in that medium.

recently
i decided
to try
to write again.
in a
very gwen-way
i was overambitious.
i made
a
long
long
list
of people
who i wanted
to write to
and
every time
i have a spare moment
i write a postcard.
postcards
are easy.
low commitment.
but
they still are
a fragment
of your everyday.
they still
are handwritten.
they still
say
i am thinking of you.



it's actually
easier
than i thought.
for the past
2 months
i have
written
to everyone
on the list.
many people
i try
to write to
weekly.

it's a start.
s l o w l y,
letters are
coming back to me.
my mailbox
is often filled
with cards.

i think
many of us
hunger
for that
connection
again.

i am going
to try
to make this
a habit.

we shall see.



but for now
my wooden box
of letters
is filling up
and
i feel connected
again.
it's
a wonderful
feeling.

bringing
back
snail mail
one
letter
at
a
time.

xo