tortugas

it's times
like this
that you
feel like
you are
riding a wave.
exhilarated
and then suddenly
pulled under...
tumbling down
and around.
a
mouthful
of
sea water.
then
you reach
and come
back up
into
the sunshine.
breathing
the air
again.

i look
at the
calendar
and
the month
is
two-thirds
over.

soon
we will
be back
in switzerland.

grub & i often
talk
about
the two
different
types of trips.
relaxing trips
and
adventure trips.
relaxing is
like going
to sea ranch.

mexico
is
always
an
adventure.

i have had
moments
that were
relaxing,
but
it is all
so new
and
so different
that
i can
never
be
totally relaxed.



there are
moments
that make
up for
all the
stress
and worry.
for all
the fear.





one of
them
was
watching
the
baby sea turtles
desperately
crawl
towards the sea.



watching
these
turtles
disoriented
and
so very small
against
the backdrop
of the ocean,
i thought
that
compared to them
my life is
so easy.
my struggles
are few.





their struggle
is the embodiment
of all that
i have studied
in biology.
the struggle
to survive.



it's so
much more
than just
making
it to the water
because
the water can
be just
as dangerous
as the shore.





some people
thought
i was crazy
to take
my 3.5 month
old baby
to mexico
but
even though
i have
wondered
if we did
the right thing
when
i cannot sleep
at wee hours
of the morning.
there is one
thing
i have learned
and
hope to teach
my daughter
by example...



all
the most
wonderful
things in
life come
with some
risk.



don't be
afraid
to catch
that wave
even if
it may pull
you under.
you can reach
and find
your way
back up
to the surface
and
into
the sunshine.

xo



{all fisheye photos & panorama above by my friend maria ikenberry}

as the wisteria fades

when i arrived
a little over
a week ago
the wisteria
was in its
full glory...
now
the little
purple
flowers
are
beginning
to coat
the ground.
i think wisteria
will always
remind me
of
my move
to
switzerland.

i sat in
the jardin botanique
(where
i am
staying)
and wrote
thank you letters
and postcards
in the sun
all afternoon
while
families
walked in
the garden
and had
drinks and
ice cream
on the benches.

as the sun
began
to fade
i went in
to the kitchen
to gather
my bread
and cheese
from
the saturday market
for
an afternoon snack
in
the last
of the sun.



there was
a huge selection
of cheese
yesterday
at the market
but
when i explained
to the cheese man
i could only eat
pasteurized cheese
because
i was pregnant
he thought
for a second
and said
there were
only two
that
were pasteurized!
how different
from the US,
no?

hope you
have a wonderful
mother's day.

xo

transition

when
light slinks
away
with
the warmth
of the afternoon.
before
night
silently
returns.

the purgatory
before
the night.

between
becoming
and
done.

dusk.

my favorite time
yet
there is
a
certain
sadness
to it.
the
inevitability
of its
passing.



in
n. carolina
this weekend
for a
friend's
baby shower...
her
little one
is due
in
2
short weeks.



i have
a special
love
for
n. carolina.
i went
through
a great
many changes
during
my
years
there.
a wonderful
time,
a painful
time,
but
a time
of great
friendships.



friends
becoming
mothers
is both
amazing
and
frightening.
a transition
between
a world
you know
and
a world
you
only
perceive.

on
the drive
home
i found out
that
another
friend
was
going
to be
a mother.

will i
always
be
waiting
here
at dusk
or have i
passed
through
to night?

xo