bugheart

tortugas

2012-01-23T16:16:00.009+01:00

it's times
like this
that you
feel like
you are
riding a wave.
exhilarated
and then suddenly
pulled under...
tumbling down
and around.
a
mouthful
of
sea water.
then
you reach
and come
back up
into
the sunshine.
breathing
the air
again.

i look
at the
calendar
and
the month
is
two-thirds
over.

soon
we will
be back
in switzerland.

grub & i often
talk
about
the two
different
types of trips.
relaxing trips
and
adventure trips.
relaxing is
like going
to sea ranch.

mexico
is
always
an
adventure.

i have had
moments
that were
relaxing,
but
it is all
so new
and
so different
that
i can
never
be
totally relaxed.

there are
moments
that make
up for
all the
stress
and worry.
for all
the fear.

one of
them
was
watching
the
baby sea turtles
desperately
crawl
towards the sea.

watching
these
turtles
disoriented
and
so very small
against
the backdrop
of the ocean,
i thought
that
compared to them
my life is
so easy.
my struggles
are few.

their struggle
is the embodiment
of all that
i have studied
in biology.
the struggle
to survive.

it's so
much more
than just
making
it to the water
because
the water can
be just
as dangerous
as the shore.

some people
thought
i was crazy
to take
my 3.5 month
old baby
to mexico
but
even though
i have
wondered
if we did
the right thing
when
i cannot sleep
at wee hours
of the morning.
there is one
thing
i have learned
and
hope to teach
my daughter
by example...

all
the most
wonderful
things in
life come
with some
risk.

don't be
afraid
to catch
that wave
even if
it may pull
you under.
you can reach
and find
your way
back up
to the surface
and
into
the sunshine.

xo

{all fisheye photos & panorama above by my friend maria ikenberry}

from one extreme to another

2012-01-07T05:43:00.002+01:00

happy new year!

. . . . .

i spent
new years eve
crossing
the atlantic
from
switzerland
to mexico.

i flew out
of a cold
rainy
switzerland
on
december
31st
and
arrived
at a tiny
airport
with
a thatched roof
&
the sound
of tropical
birds
on the morning
of january 1st.

quite
a shock.

it all
still feels
a bit like
a strange
dream.

as i drive
with my research
partner
up & down
the coast
collecting seeds
the view
from
the passenger side
is
a slow-paced
movie.

i am in
a bit
of a haze.
lost.
overwhelmed.

but

all
my senses
are peaked.

these are
the times
when
the world is
big
and
i have
so much
to learn.

it's
damn
exciting.

xo

postcard from gruyères

2011-12-27T16:43:00.005+01:00

it was
a rainy &
cold day
right before christmas
when we took
a day trip
to gruyères
with
our friend jes.

the train ride
to gruyères
was something
straight out
of how
i imagined
switzerland to look...
mountains
covered in snow
and cute wooden
chalets with
carved & painted
details.

jes had
always wanted
to see how
cheese was made.

we had
fondue,
of course.

we braved
the nasty weather
and
walked
around
the town.

we learned
that
the name
gruyères
comes from
the french
word for crane
(la grue).
more here.

then we
walked up
to the
grand château.

but
the weather
got
the best of us
so we headed home.

. . . . .

on the way
home
we stopped
briefly
in Montreux
to see the
christmas market.

we warmed up
with some
glühwein
before
the last leg
of the journey
home.

xo

joyeux noël

2011-12-25T11:06:00.003+01:00

our first
christmas
in
switzerland.

wishing
all of you
a wonderful
holiday
from
the
3 of us.

xo

m u r t e n { m o r a t }

2011-12-16T22:52:00.004+01:00

my dutch
friend
annemarie
came
to visit me
last week.

she wanted
to meet
the wee grub
and
take
a little vacation.

when
the weather
was good
we took
little
day trips.

last friday
we went
to the historic
medieval
town
of
murten
{morat in french}.
one of
my favorite
towns
because
it is
very small
but
incredibly
charming.

still surrounded
by its fifteenth
century walls,
it has
amazing
vistas.

annemarie & i
have
a similar style
of low key
sightseeing.
after some
walking
and
photo-taking,
it is necessary
to take
a tea & cake
break.

after
a leisurely
cup of tea
we walked out
of the cafe
into
one
of those
moments
one can never
plan...
the town
had just
set up
for the
christmas market
and
the streets
were aglow
with lights
and
the air was
sweet
with glühwein.

there
was a warmth
and
festiveness
in the air
that was
magical.
we walked
slowly from
booth to booth
and
drank it
all in.

xo

note:
photos by
both
annemarie & me.

thankful

2011-11-28T19:39:00.001+01:00

we have
a lot
to be
thankful for
this year
more than
any other year.

i finished
my phd.

we moved
to switzerland.

we had
a little
girl.

sometimes
we forget
amidst
the worrying
about
this and that.

we tend
to focus
on what
we do not have
because
sometimes
these things
seem
insurmountable.
those are
the things
that use to
keep us up at night
before
we had a baby.

i won't
deny that
we are often
lonely
far away
from
family
and friends.
it seems
strange
to be lonely
when
i have grub
and
he has me
and
we have
wee grub.

but
anyone who
has moved
knows
this
type of
loneliness
well.

plus
parenthood
can be
quite
isolating
in its
own way...

we are
home for
long stretches
of time
focused
on
the care
of
one little person
which would
seem
to be
a
very simple task.
but
it takes
all your time
and
you
are
suddenly
absent
from all
social
interactions
until you
can muster
up the energy
to face
the world
outside.

for
these reasons
celebrating
thanksgiving
seemed especially
important
to us
this year.

we searched
for the
traditional
ingredients
in neuchâtel
and
finally found
a whole turkey
but
i failed
to find
pumpkin
in a can.
grub
cooked
up a storm.

i dressed
wee grub
in the
appropriate
turkey day
garb.

a little
pair
of socks
arrived
in the mail
from eliza
to complete
the outfit.
and
we celebrated
with our
new friends.

as we move
into
the
holiday season
in a foreign land
we will
savor
what we can
of
our new life
and
enjoy
time
with new friends.

we send
our love
home
to those
we miss
but
we will
see them
again
very soon.

hope
you all
had
a
wonderful
thanksgiving.

xo

s i o n

2011-11-08T18:38:00.006+01:00

when we lived
in
washington dc
grub & i
loved
to
take autumn drives
in the countryside.
it's our
favorite time
of year.

the vineyards
around neuchâtel
began to
create
a patchwork
quilt
of yellow
orange,
and a
deep red
we both
were itching
to get out
of town
and see
the autumn colors.

we put
our wee grub
into
her carrier,
packed
a bag for
the day,
and headed
to the train station.

grub chose
our destination.
the town of
sion-
the capitol
of the
valais canton.

a fog
hangs over
neuchâtel
at this time
of year.
we heard
the climate
is milder
and drier
in sion.
sion
is surrounded
by vineyards
and,
not one,
but two
medieval castles
overlook
the town.
valère and tourbillon.

unfortunately
it was still
a grey day
in sion
but the weather
was warm.
we
wandered
through
the tiny streets
and peeked
into
courtyards,
wandered down
charming passageways,
and
caught glimpses
of
the mountains
and
the castles
perched
on the
hills above.

as evening
fell,
we headed
home on
the train
with
all the
commuters
anxious
to begin their
weekend.
the train windows
became
mirrors
reflecting
the
faces
of strangers.

xo

brocantes

2011-10-26T13:42:00.003+02:00

{brownie camera thrifted in switzerland!}

i had a lot
of
expectations
when i moved
to switzerland.

amazing
dairy products
&
fondue,
efficiency,
everything
neat & tidy
and
costing
a lot more
etc...

i didn't
expect
that
there would be
and
reasonably
priced
thrift shops
(aka brocantes).

{vintage wooden box}

i was
wrong.

thrift shops
here are
great.
seems like
the swiss
appreciate
a good deal
like
any one
from
any country.

{cabinet- needs some work}

i won't go
into how
happy that
makes me
but those
who know me
know
one of
my great joys
is thrift shopping
(or antique hunting).

{wooden caterpillar toy}

i am happy
to report
that
although
i lost
my dear
value village
compadre
in dc,
my friends
pip & tom
both love
thrift-shopping
like i do.
one of
the first weeks
i arrived
tom made me a map
of all the stores
in neuchatel.
i knew
that
we would
be fast friends.

the thrift
stores
are not as
obvious here.
many of them
are tucked away
in places
a rookie
like myself
would not
have found
(at least
for a long time).

{old dutch tea/chocolate tin}

when
my mom visited
we had
a great time
hitting
all the thrift stores
weekly.
hunting for
baby clothes
and other
household supplies.

{vintage dental mirror}

now that
i have a baby
i am
a little
gun-shy
about venturing out
with her.
grub knows
the best way
to lure me out
of the house
is to
suggest that
we go thrifting.

{baskets for my yarn}

i have found
many household items
(clothespins, mugs,
bowls, knives, etc.)
as well
as interesting
odds & ends
(shown here)
that make
our apartment
feel more
like a home
(instead of
an ikea showroom)...

{vintage chropractic chart}

it's a beautiful
day out,
so
i am off
for some
swiss thrifting
this afternoon-
wish me luck!

xo

c h a n g e s

2011-10-13T12:51:00.003+02:00

it's been
a while.

lots has happened.

summer
has turned
into
autumn
and
wee grub
was born.

i will try
to
be present
here
more often
to document
autumn life
in my
new world.

xo

nutella & bananas

2011-08-09T20:22:00.002+02:00

i walked by
this cart
numerous times
before
i realized
it was
captain haddock
from tintin.

this cart
makes me smile.
maybe it's
the yellow stripes.
or
the numerous
bottles
of nutella,
bunches of bananas,
and pig
sitting on
the shelf.

i will have
a crepe there
some day
soon.

xo

a u v e r n i e r

2011-07-29T18:29:00.002+02:00

each week
i take a 6 minute
train ride
to my prenatal yoga
class in a little town
called auvernier.
there are
so many towns
in switzerland
where i
find myself
wondering
do people live here?
i just
can't imagine
what it's like
to live
every day
in such
a cute
little
idyllic town
by the lake
surrounded
by vineyards.

it was
an overcast day
and
the smell
of wine-making
was in the air-
that slight
pungency of
fermentation.

i wandered
around
taking
a few photos
before
my class
as
people went
about
their business
of trimming
the flowers
by the fountain,
putting out
their
featherbeds
to air,
and other
such
every day
tasks.

bon week-end!
xo

l a u s a n n e

2011-07-25T16:23:00.004+02:00

on friday
grub & i
took a little
day trip to
lausanne.

i have been
wanting to go
inspired by
several
online guides
to the city.

we tried
zooburger
{i needed
a veggie burger
fix}.
walked around
the big cathedral
and listened
to organ
practice.
checked out
the many
design stores,
wine shops,
and
chocolatiers.
tried to go
to the
american
cupcake
shop
{closed
for vacation}.
and
of course
bought
some macarons
at ladurée
and
ate them
by the lake
as the storm
rolled in.

a little
of everything
to start
our weekend.

hope you
had a lovely
weekend.
xo

before the storm

2011-07-11T12:22:00.006+02:00

my birthday sundae
at a
fancy hotel
by the lake.

. . .

sometimes
our lives
seem to be
an assortment
of moments...
too scattered
is our
day to day
that
one cannot
weave them
into
a story.
it ends up
more like
a nonsensical dream.

that is how
things
have been
for me
as of late.

. . .

grub was
in paris
for my birthday
{i made him go}
but he brought me
back
macarons & jam
from
pierre hermé,
tea from
mariage frères,
and treats
from my favorite
stores
{muji & petit pan}

i had hoped
to have
an amazing day
of swiss thrift shopping
on my birthday
but
the thrift shop gods
were not kind.

a few days
before
i saw
an old wooden toy
at a thrift shop
but hesitated
to buy it
{it was a whopping 8chf}.
but
it pestered me
until i returned
and
found it there
waiting for me
and
on sale for
half price!
i love old
beat-up
wooden toys.

it had
a signature
on the bottom

i looked it up
to find it was
a vintage swiss toy
by antonio vitali,
a pretty famous
swiss toy designer:

Source: handmadecharlotte.com via gwen on Pinterest

Source: quintessentia.com via gwen on Pinterest

needless to say
it made
my day.

. . .

things
are otherwise
quiet...

{photo by grub}

trying to
sink into
what life is
like now.

enjoying
weekend breakfasts
on the balcony...

walks
by the lake
after
the saturday market...

lunches
with wine
(for those
with that option)

and
afternoon naps.

fleeting moments.
the quiet
before
the storm.

xo

mixed feelings

2011-06-26T17:41:00.003+02:00

grub and i
spent
the last week
in
côte d'azur.
not a place
i ever
expected
to go
but
there i was.

i have
mixed feelings
about the place...
the ocean
is so beautiful
and the little
old town of antibes
is charming
with its
winding little
streets
and castle
by the sea...
but
by day
the beaches
are packed
with people
and lined
with ugly
restaurants
and hotels
that swallow up
the sand.
the shops
and tourists
overwhelm
you until
you are dizzy
with sun
and noise...
but
then
the
sun
begins
to set
and
old men
play boules,
the candy vendors
linger,
and the beach chairs
now empty
sit in silent
attention
towards the sea
and you
can't help
but
fall
in love
a little.

xo

art basel

2011-06-24T07:29:00.004+02:00

last saturday
we went to
art basel-
an amazing
international
art show.

basel is
a beautiful city.
grub has spent
some time
exploring it
so
he took me
to a little
chocolate store
he discovered
and we had
the most amazing
hot chocolate.
the old town
was packed
with tourists
and protesters...
we made our way
to the exhibitions...
foolishly
we obeyed
the signage
and did not
bring our
cameras into
the galleries
but then saw
everyone
with cameras
taking photos
of the art.
there was great
people watching
and
we discovered
some new (to us)
artists we love
(as well as
lots of works
by famous artists,
such as
bourgeois,
warhol, cornell,
calder, twombly,
judd, etc.).

some of my favorites:

{lygia clark}

Source: kherlak.blogspot.com via gwen on Pinterest

{jeanne silverthorne}

Source: google.com via gwen on Pinterest

{gianfranco baruchello}

Source: google.com via gwen on Pinterest

if only
i were rich
and could
afford
to buy
lots of art.

le sigh.

next...
our week
in
antibes
in the
french riviera.
xo

a little more normal

2011-06-12T00:44:00.007+02:00

every day
feels
a little more
normal...
a little more
like a routine...

from walking
to work
each
morning
down
the
many
flights
of stairs
a l o n g
the train tracks
across the bridge
to
the university,

to
catching
the bus back
up the hill to
the botanical garden
where grub &
my house
mate,
pip,
are
chatting
over
beers in
the kitchen,

to waking up
on saturday,
having a
cup of tea,
and walking
down the hill
with our shopping
bags to the weekend market.

each day
i understand
and speak
a little more french.
every week
it feels
a little more
like i really live here.

. . .

we signed
a apartment contract
and went
through
the apartment inspection
this week...
it's much more
of a formal affair
in switzerland.
we heard you
have to be
very careful
because
you are responsible
for every little hole
and scratch
when you move out.

on my way out
of the apartment
i snapped
a quick photo
of the view from
the living room.

{that green screen has got to go}

we move in
next week
and are trying
to think of
creative ways
to decorate
and furnish
the apartment
because furniture
is very expensive.

i joke that
grub will have
the minimalist
apartment that
he always
wanted:

Source: ateliernet.blogspot.com via gwen on Pinterest

we have been
quite obsessed
with decorating-
collecting
our ideas
to share with
each other
here (grub)
and
here (me).

i am obsessed
with trying
to make things
with found/
recycled
crates & pallets
(although where
does one find
wood crates & pallets
around here?)...

Source: lovekompott.com via gwen on Pinterest

Source: sundayinbed.tumblr.com via gwen on Pinterest

Source: apartmenttherapy.com via gwen on Pinterest

on the other hand
grub
has focused
his attention
on lighting...
probably because
he thinks spaces
are poorly
lit here...

Source: habitat.co.uk via John on Pinterest

Source: medesignmag.com via John on Pinterest

i know these
ideas are
always harder
to pull off
than they seem...
especially
when a place
like home depot
doesn't seem
to exist
around here
(or we can't find it).

it will be
interesting
to document
the process
as we slowly
make
this apartment
our home
for the next
2 years.

i look
forward
to sharing
this transition
with you.

bon week-end.
xo

z ü r i c h

2011-05-30T12:27:00.003+02:00

we took
a day trip
to zürich
to visit
our friend,
jes,
and show
grub the town.

i feel like
a country mouse
visiting
the city
when i go
to zürich.
so many people.
so many bars
and restuarants.
so much shopping.
english-speakers
everywhere.

i was frustrated
because i would
speak german
but as soon
as they heard us
speak english
with each other
they switch to english.
i am glad
that they
don't do that
in neuchâtel
so i can work
on my french.

we spent
the day exploring.
the highlight
of the day
was the flea market.
i resisted buying
anything
until we have
an apartment
but
it was fun
to see what
people
were selling.
many things
were not priced.
i don't like that
because they
can size you up
and decide on
a price...
plus i have
to decipher
swiss german
which is
really difficult
for me to understand.

grub says
that zürich
is the new york
of switzerland.
i think he's right.
we look forward
to going back
often.

i discovered
a great blog
by another
american transplant
in zürich-
asphalt & air.
i hope
to meet up
with her
soon.

this week
we may be
signing papers
for
an apartment-
fingers crossed!

xo

eating spring

2011-05-24T13:29:00.002+02:00

although
the weather
has been
beautiful
and
grub is
now here,
i have been
sick all
week...
uninspired
to photograph
or write.

grub has
been investigating
all the different
grocery stores,
liquor stores
and markets...
bringing home
different cheeses,
terrines
of unknown animals
{until we look it up},
and
vegetables of
all varieties.

yesterday
i began
to feel better
and
grub & i looked
at an amazing
apartment
{kept your fingers
crossed for us!}...

in the evening,
after the
apartment visit,
we sat in the
kitchen and
shelled
fava beans
and
cranberry beans
(photo above)
in the waning light.

he found
wild asparagus
at the market
so he sauteed
the asparagus
and paired
it with fresh
sheep's milk
ricotta,
some fava beans,
olive oil
and onions
for
our evening meal.

it felt like
i was eating
the essence
of spring.

more soon.
xo

and then the rain came

2011-05-14T15:42:00.000+02:00

i woke up
at 7ish
to write
a few letters
before
heading
to the market
with philippa.

it began to rain
so we
took shelter
under
the cafe
umbrellas.

when
the rain
let up
i felt
emboldened
and
took
some more
photographs.

then
off
to check out
the knitting store
{big disappointment}
and
take
my shoes
to the repairman
{good practice
of french
vocabulary}.

now it
is pouring
outside.
a good time
for bread
& cheese
and
getting
some work done.

bon week-end!
xo

as the wisteria fades

2011-05-08T19:43:00.002+02:00

when i arrived
a little over
a week ago
the wisteria
was in its
full glory...
now
the little
purple
flowers
are
beginning
to coat
the ground.
i think wisteria
will always
remind me
of
my move
to
switzerland.

i sat in
the jardin botanique
(where
i am
staying)
and wrote
thank you letters
and postcards
in the sun
all afternoon
while
families
walked in
the garden
and had
drinks and
ice cream
on the benches.

as the sun
began
to fade
i went in
to the kitchen
to gather
my bread
and cheese
from
the saturday market
for
an afternoon snack
in
the last
of the sun.

there was
a huge selection
of cheese
yesterday
at the market
but
when i explained
to the cheese man
i could only eat
pasteurized cheese
because
i was pregnant
he thought
for a second
and said
there were
only two
that
were pasteurized!
how different
from the US,
no?

hope you
have a wonderful
mother's day.

xo

hi again...

2011-05-07T17:08:00.002+02:00

it's been
a long time.
i hope you can
forgive me.
things have
been pretty
crazy around here
for the last
6 months.

i got pregnant.
i finished my phd.
i got a post-doc in switzerland.
i moved to switzerland.

not necessarily
in that order.

i had planned
to finish
my phd
in the spring
but in january
i was offered a post-doc
so everything
was
on overdrive
after that.

now
here i am
in switzerland.
starting a new job,
5 months pregnant
waiting for grub
to join me.
i hardly have
a moment to stop
and absorb
all these changes.

i am still
catching
up.

. . . . .

i now live
in Neuchâtel.
a french speaking part
of switzerland
between zurich & geneva.
i have a lot to tell.

but i
will start
simple.

today
i got up early
and went
to the market
with my two
fellow
post-doc
friends.

there's
a big market
each saturday morning.
i am still
a bit shy
about taking
photos here...

after we shopped
and
i successfully
bought what
i had on my list
(& discovered
1kg
is a lot of
spinach),
we took
a break
and had coffee.

i am adjusting
slowly.
everything
is so new...
from pregnancy
to living
in a foreign land
but i think
i will like
it here.

more soon.

ps
i like to
keep baby stuff
separate,
but if you are
interested
in
our wee grub
visit
wee grub blog.

xo

thirty-eight

2010-10-04T17:45:00.013+02:00

grub turned
38
on thursday.
we did a
post-birthday
celebration
this weekend
by taking
the 6am bus
to nyc...

and
the 3am
(yes 3am)
train home.
we always
thought
that sounded
like
just the sort
of crazy thing
we'd like
to do
{while we
still can}.

we had
lunch
at
jean georges

ate macaroons
from bouchon

shopped
at
some
favorite stores

cocktails
& sunset gazing
at perry street

dinner
at vandaag

then
rhum o rhama

cienfuegos

hurricane club
{horrible place}

painkiller

we barely made
it to the train!

. . .

sunday
we recovered
with a walk
to our
favorite pizza place
and
park.

see the
rest of
the weekend
polaroids
on
this joy + ride!

hope you had
a fun-filled
weekend.

xo

other people's history

2010-09-27T21:12:00.003+02:00

i am
the youngest
and
my parents
started
a family
later
than most.
my grandparents
and
older relatives
passed away
before
i was five.

my father
is
an only child
and
my mother's family
lived far away
and
didn't
speak english.

i never
had
that time
to sit
with
my grandmother
and hear
her stories
about life
in france
or
listen to
my grandfather
tell us
how he
made his way
as a stowaway
on a boat
from
prague
to nyc.

i yearn
for
those kind
of connections
to
my personal history.
i love
to leaf through
the old photos
that
we have
from
my grandparents
or
my mother
or father's
youth.

but
many faces
are unfamiliar
and
i worry
that once
my parents
are gone,
who will remember
who these people are?

will they
be forgotten
like
the
vintage
photos
in stacks
at antique
stores?

i cannot
resist
a pile
of vintage
photos-
always buying
at least
one.
i tape
them into
my journal
and
make-up
a story
or
brief
description:

Honeymoon- Oregon Coast
1968
We walked along the coast.
Joe lost his wallet.
We had dinner at the Cliffside Inn.

why was
this photo taken
at that moment?

who took
the photo?

is odd
to be
fascinated
with a
history
that is
not one's own?

xo

ps.
none of these photos
are of anyone i know.

you've got mail

2010-09-22T19:25:00.006+02:00

when i was
little
i liked to write
letters.

in school,
as far back as
i can remember
when it was
time to take out
crayons or markers
i would make
a card.
usually for my mom.
i would draw
people and penguins
(i had a thing
for penguins)
on grass,
near a house
with the
typical sun
and clouds.

inside
i would write
something like:

dear mommy,
i hope you had a good day.
i love you.

sometimes
i would write
to my brothers.
but then
i'd make
sure to say
i like you.
since you
don't tell your brothers
you love them
when you are
little.
or at least
i didn't.
ewww.

i had
a series
of intense
letter exchanges
with friends
in elementary school
and
in high school.
usually these
exchanges
were with friends
i saw all the time
but somehow
we expressed something
different about
ourselves when
we wrote letters
to each other.

when i lived
in germany
with my uncle & aunt
i would eat lunch
by the window
and
wait for the postman.
it was
my only connection
to the familar-
letters from home.

in college
i still wrote
to many of my friends.
i bought
an old typewriter
and loved sitting
in my attic room
banging away
on the old keys.
email was
still
in its
fledgling
years.

i received
many letters
from
my brothers
and
my friend
elizabeth.
usually elaborately
decorated.
i distinctly
remember
the joy
i felt
when i found one
in my
dorm hall mailbox.
i savored
those letters
waiting
for the perfect time
to open them.
sometimes
in my favorite spot
overlooking the
university
or after dinner
in my room
with a cup of tea.

i have saved
every
single
letter.
they are in
a big box
in my parent's barn.
every now
and again
i go through them.
they are
better than photographs
because
they tell you
more about
who
we were...
what
we thought
where
we were
years
and
years
ago.

then
email
took over
and research
and school
ate up
all my time.
blogging was
the closest
i got
to letter writing.
it was
my letter
to everyone.

i have rarely
written
a letter
except the occasional
thank you
or
birthday card.

in the
past year
i have felt
a great deal
of sadness
about
the connections
i have lost
as i get older...
about the friends
i have neglected.

honestly,
i hate email.
i am on the computer
all the time.
i spend
most of my day
looking at a screen.
so i am bad
about responding
to an email.
i am not inspired
to write
in that medium.

recently
i decided
to try
to write again.
in a
very gwen-way
i was overambitious.
i made
a
long
long
list
of people
who i wanted
to write to
and
every time
i have a spare moment
i write a postcard.
postcards
are easy.
low commitment.
but
they still are
a fragment
of your everyday.
they still
are handwritten.
they still
say
i am thinking of you.

it's actually
easier
than i thought.
for the past
2 months
i have
written
to everyone
on the list.
many people
i try
to write to
weekly.

it's a start.
s l o w l y,
letters are
coming back to me.
my mailbox
is often filled
with cards.

i think
many of us
hunger
for that
connection
again.

i am going
to try
to make this
a habit.

we shall see.

but for now
my wooden box
of letters
is filling up
and
i feel connected
again.
it's
a wonderful
feeling.

bringing
back
snail mail
one
letter
at
a
time.

xo

b a l a n c e

2010-09-05T23:14:00.004+02:00

i love
symmetry.

when i saw
these barns
i made
grub
stop the car
and
i tromped
through poison ivy
to take
this photo.

{grub's perspective}

it makes
me happy.
it's
so balanced.

it
reminds
me of drives
in the country
with grub.
he will
drive me
back down
the
road
just because
i wanted
to take a photo.

he's
pretty awesome
that way.

. . .

august
was
bad for me.
really bad.
i needed
to find
something
to balance me
again.

i
began
to go to
yoga
again.
i had forgotten
that it's
what
my body and soul
seem to need.
why do i always
forget that
when i get
wrapped up in
the
busyness
of life?

this weekend
i went to
morning yoga
each day
then sat outside
and
had breakfast
with a friend.
the weather in dc
in september is
pretty perfect.
warm, breezy,
and the sun
washes everything
in gold.
yoga.
friends.
sun.
that brings
me
back
in balance.
it gives me
the strength
i need to make
it through
this year.

i think
september
might be
my new favorite month.

xo

betwixt & between

2010-09-02T19:59:00.001+02:00

it's
a time
of year
when we are caught
between
a little bit of summer
and
a little bit of fall.

knowing one
is coming
to an end
and
waiting
for the other
to arrive.

i feel
like
i am being
pulled
between the
two seasons.
caterpillars are
still out
but
teaching has
begun.

i know many of you
want to
hold on to summer
but i am
ready for her
to let me go
so
i can
be with fall.

xo

kaffee klatsch

2010-08-17T21:53:00.004+02:00

nothing
suits my mood
better
than meeting
a friend
to chat
over
coffee
and
sweets.
my mother
calls it
kaffee klatsch.

i did that
so often
when i lived
in seattle
but rarely
do i meet
friends
for coffee
in d.c.

perhaps
it's the
difference
in weather.

today
i am having
trouble
concentrating.

dreaming
of spending the night
at
this hotel.

loving
this pocket tee
and
these tights.

wanting
this necklace.

thinking
that
i am going to
just wear
blues & greys
stripes & metal
this fall.

. . .

tonight
dinner
at Poste
with grub
for
our monthly
anniversary.
12y.4mo.

happy tuesday.
xo

e s c a p e

2010-08-13T20:13:00.000+02:00

lately
i have been
wanting to escape.

bury
my head in
a book
and
forget about
stress,
work,
and
what i
s h o u l d
be doing
and
l o s e
myself
in someone
else's world.

get
in a car
with grub
and drive
to
somewhere
i have
never been.
find old
abandoned
railroad
towns...

wineries
tucked away
among
cattle
and sheep farms.

we leave
the city
with no
real destination
in mind...
pack a lunch,
a camera
or two
and end up
where
we end up.
we leave everything
behind
at least
for
the day.

we play
graveyard
along
the way.
1 point
for spotting cows
2 points
for spotting sheep
3 points
for spotting llamas
and
spotting
a graveyard
makes all
your opponents
lose their points.

grub won.

how do you
escape?

have
a lovely
weekend.
xo

r e f u g e

2010-07-19T21:36:00.000+02:00

on monday
mornings
i drive
to the
research refuge
to get
leaves
to feed my
caterpillars
for the week.

there
are tons of
old laboratories
and houses
throughout
the refuge
in various
stages of
decay.

the heat
is oppressive
today so
i worked
quickly.

but i had
to stop
to take
a shot
or
two.

wishing you
a lovely week.
xo

s u m m e r

2010-07-15T23:50:00.003+02:00

i am
sentimental
about summer.

i use to
wish
that
summer
would
never end.

laying on the beach
and
curling sand
between
my toes
and
the pads
of my feet.

summer was
freedom.

eating strawberries
on the cliffs
over-looking the sea
and tossing the
little green tops
over
the
edge.

watching
hang gliders
windshield-wiper
the sky.

chocolate
covered
soft serve
ice cream
from
foster freeze
melting
all over
my hands.

i long to
lay in the sun
with nothing
to do.

summers
are so different
for me now.
they are
the time
of year
i work
the hardest.
i look forward
to summer's
end.

maybe
someday
i can sit
by the sea
with
my kid(s)
and
eat
one of those
a foster
freeze
cones
again.

xo

o l y m p i a

2010-07-10T01:32:00.000+02:00

a few images
from olympia...

{bike rides in the countryside}

{mom & nephew on the tractor}

{birthday wishes}

{picnicing with siblings}

happy weekend
to you all!
xo

s e a t t l e

2010-07-03T21:34:00.001+02:00

i took
a little trip
home
to the northwest
for my birthday.

it was a trip
to visit family
so i didn't
eat out or
visit friends.
just relaxed
with the family
and enjoyed
the company
of my
very cool
almost-4-year-old
nephew.

i had
dinner at
a
regular hang out
where
my brother joe
bartends
and
my brother johnny
did the sign out front.

i met up
with my dear pal
{west coast pony}
for dinner.

then drinks
at still liquor
& the living room.
very
uncomplicated.
. . . . .

i did make
a point
to go
with
my brother
and mother
to delancey.
i couldn't resist.

it was an
{unusually}
sunny warm day.
we waited
outside
in their
make-shift
roped-off
area
enjoying wine
before dinner
in the
seattle sun.

our favorite
was the
four cheese
with
local porcini mushrooms.

i dream
of it still.

next up:
olympia.

. . . . .

happy
holiday weekend!

when you were small

2010-06-20T21:57:00.002+02:00

when i was little
i was fierce.
i was stubborn.
and
boy oh boy
i was bossy.

i often got into
trouble.
i was punished
a lot.
the phrase
wait until
your father get's home!
was often uttered.
and
it struck
a chord of deep fear
in the pit
of my stomach.

as i get older
i often wonder
what kind
of parent
i would be.
should i be
a parent at all?
i am
still much
like that little girl
that got into
so much
trouble.

parents make
so many mistakes
and
their children
hold it against
them for
a long long time.
often
for their whole lives.

that terrifies me.

there was
a duality in my home.
my mother was
the nurturer.
the giver.
she always said yes.
my father was
the punisher.
the enforcer.
he often said no.

needless to say
it was far
more difficult
to get along
with my father
than my mother.

i wonder,
who will i be?
like my mother
or
like my father?

the older
i get,
the better
i understand
my father's perspective.
as a teacher
i find myself
in the role
of the enforcer,
trying desperately
to prepare
my students
for what's ahead
of them...
so much of it
comes out
of what
i have learned
from
my own mistakes
and
shortcomings.

and this is why
my father
was so tough on me.

my father
has often said
{paraphrased},

Fathers try to express their love
by concealing their shyness with gruffness,
as in Kenneth Fearing's
Any Man's Advice to His Son,
written during WWII,
which ends:

I tell you this because I remember you when you were small,
And because I remember all your monstrous infant boasts and lies,
And the way you smiled, and how you ran and climbed, as no one else quite did, and how you fell and were bruised,
And because there is no other person, anywhere on earth, who remembers these things as clearly as I do now.

i often
wish i had
listened better.
that aside, i can
at the very least say
thank you.

happy father's day.

p o s t c a r d s

2010-06-13T18:24:00.002+02:00

i was cleaning
this morning
and came across
these pieces
of coral
and suddenly
i was
on the beach
again...

in the
hot
blaring
sun
searching
the sand for
souvenirs.

i have been
thinking
a lot
lately
about memory.
how
we remember moments
in our lives
so distinctly.
we may not
remember
what we did
that day
years ago
at all
but we can
remember
a particular moment
that day.

a postcard
moment.

for example,
i was writing
a postcard
to my friend
and
as i was
placing
stickers
in the margins
of the card
i suddenly
remembered
the little
general-type store
on 15th street
in seattle
{where the walgreens is now}
where i bought
those japanese stickers.
i remember
it was
a lazy
sunday afternoon
{i miss those}
and
we were
wandering
around the
store
after brunch.
i remember
taking a polaroid
of my friend
in a blue
garden chair
in the store.
she wore blue.
it matched
the chair.
the blue
made her hair
the most
lovely shade
of reddish brown.

now why
would my brain
choose
to file
that moment away?

and then
decide
to recall
it at that second?

a moment
all but
forgotten
until then?

. . .

happy sunday
to you.

xo

my long absence

2010-05-23T22:51:00.000+02:00

hi.
it's been a while.
days turned into weeks...
weeks turned into months.

it's been crazy.
i defend
my phD in
a little over 6 months
and i am a bit
freaked out.

and you know
how
when you have
taken time off
it seems harder
and harder
to come back?

well,
that's how
i felt.

but here i am.
i'll try to
pop in
a little more
often...
even though
i suspect
it's gonna
be a hellish
6 months.

in other
exciting
(and a bit belated)
news...

i was featured
in the spring issue
of uppercase.
i was so honored
i LOVE
that magazine.
it's a beautiful spread
and
article.
so so flattered.

and i also
participated
in
the white album project
which
came out
last month.
alongside
amazing artists
like wendy crabb.

a little
knitting
for
a little one...

and
i finally got
around to
updating
my vintage shop.
more updates today
and usually
once a week.

hope you are
all well.
i've missed you.

xo

paris eats

2010-03-30T01:57:00.002+02:00

when people
ask me
what we did
in paris,
i say
e a t.

from
green tea eclairs
at
AOKI...

to
a croissant
from
a different
bakery
each
breakfast
(we had to compare
them all, right?)...

to bread
(and more
croissants)
from the
famous
gosselin
(winner of
best baguette
in paris)...

we ate
our way
through
paris.

wouldn't you?

xo

a little corbusier

2010-03-25T16:54:00.001+01:00

you can't
really go
to paris
with
an architect
and not
see some
corbusier.
i think that
they'd take
away grub's
architecture
degree or something.

there are
a few corbusiers
you can visit
but we
chose
to visit
maison la roche
in the neighborhood
of auteuil.

dare i admit
that
grub isn't
the biggest
corbusier fan?

one thing
we both
noticed
was that
although
it was
recently
restored,
it doesn't age well.
this is strange
when you
are surrounded
by buildings
in paris
that are
hundreds of years older...

i think
that
this may be
due to the fact
that
he
was trying
to build
a completely
new way...
it takes
a while
for the artisans
to figure out how
to do it right.

hell,
almost
all of
frank lloyd wright's
buildings
leaked.

i was fascinated
by the tiny little
color bars
(above photo)
on each wall
to show you
how he achieved
the color
for the walls.

grub and
i have a little
architecture
curse on us.
every time we
go to a famous
architecture
building
my digital camera dies.
well,
it happened again.
so
although it
was horrible
lighting,
i took
some polaroids.

le sigh.

xo

doors of montmartre

2010-03-24T21:06:00.002+01:00

i am
certainly
not
the first
to be charmed
by the doors
of paris.
with their
bold colors
and
elaborate
knockers & knobs,
it's not
hard to
see
why
they are
so photogenic.

it was
an overcast
wednesday afternoon
when
we wandered
around montmartre.
i was
looking for
a pétanque park
that i wanted
to show grub.
a few years
back i sat
by that park
with my mom
and watched
old men
play pétanque
for hours.

as
we walked,
i took
a few polaroids
of doors.
i am partial
to blue ones.
my favorite
(top photo)
was right
by
au lapin agile,
a famous
old cabaret.

these doors
often lead
into courtyards
that offer
refuge
from
the busy street.

as
we saw
people
enter
and leave,
we loved
peeking
in
to
a whole
other
private
world.

xo

a paris breakfast

2010-03-23T23:22:00.008+01:00

i am not
a breakfast person.
i usually just
get a cup
or two
of tea
down
before
i rush out
the door
(usually late).
but
i could
get use
to breakfast
in paris.

our friends
(the same ones
who have
a place
in sea ranch)
own an apartment
on île saint-louis.
they have
a perfect
little table
by the window
that looks
out onto
a courtyard.
the softness
of the light
on the table
is magical.

grub would
go out early
to get
croissants
and
a pain au chocolat
and
we'd sit
by the window
with a pot
of
mariage frères tea
and take
the morning in.
slowly.

perfect.

more soon.
xo

off to paris

2010-03-11T19:34:00.001+01:00

it's hard
to believe
that
i am off
to paris.
i feel like
i just got
back from texas.
i am swamped
with work
but
this our
final vacation
before
the big push
to finish
my dissertation.

.

funny,
no matter
how hard
i try
to include
everything
on my planner,
i always forget
something.
some day
i will
get it
just
right.
i penciled
in the outfits
because
it's weather
and
excursion
dependent...
grub's in
charge
of the agenda.
i just know
there's
lots of
crepe-eating
on the agenda.

.

i leave you
with my
favorite
polaroid
from
the last time
i went
to paris
in 2007
with my mother.
while
i am there,
march 19th,
my mother
will turn 75.
paris will
always remind me
of her.
wish she
could come
with us.

see you
in 10 days!

xo

t e x a s

2010-03-05T01:17:00.000+01:00

i was
in
galveston,
texas
this past week
for
the
plant-herbivore
conference.

i fell
in love
with
galveston.
a town
beaten up
by
one hurricane
after another
and
abandoned
in the off-season,
it is
still
a town of
great history
and
texas
charm.

here's
my photo tour
of
galveston:

i had to walk on the beach my first day

morning under the pier

a town of beautiful victorian houses

an old synagogue

another stroll

why do people build on the ocean?

i had an egg cream at this old school soda fountain

a boarded-up theatre

i fell in love with these pink stairs

castles by the sea

a self-portrait

a cold last day

can't believe
it's already
time to plan
for the next trip...
we are off
to paris
in a week!

i feel like
a jet-setter
(i am really not).

xo

dear prudence

2010-02-23T15:00:00.044+01:00

dear prudence, won't you come out to play
dear prudence, greet the brand new day

i don't
consider
myself
as a
beatles fan.
i remember
my dad
owning
a copy
of
sgt. pepper's
lonely hearts
club band.
it looked
so strange
and
bright
among all
his opera records.

i felt
strangely
rebellious
listening
to it.
i would curl up
in the corner
by the
record player
on the goldenrod
shag rug,
an unsightly
souvenir
left by
the
former owners,
and listen
to
she's leaving home
and
a day in the life
over and over
again.

it is
one of
the most
influential
albums
in my life.

the sun is up, the sky is blue
it's beautiful and so are you
dear prudence won't you come out to play

when i was asked
to participate
in
the white album project
i was a little
at
a loss.
i never owned
that album.

the first
song
that came
to mind
was dear prudence.
not the
beatles
version
but the one
by
siouxsie sioux.

the wind is low the birds will sing
that you are part of everything

the 2nd
album that
i ever owned
was
Hyæna.

.
steven severin
standing against my car

siouxsie sioux
was my idol
in elementary school.
my brother worked
with her
when i was
in high school
so i was
able to meet her
and her band...

i danced
the tango
with budgie in
a backyard
in silver lake.
we walked
to a bar
and drank
southern comfort.
one of the
most
memorable
nights
of my life.

xo

v a l e n t i n e

2010-02-14T19:46:00.004+01:00

hug
someone
you love.

. . . . .

grub & i
don't really
celebrate
v-day.
we celebrate
our anniversary
every month
on the 17th.
we like
to do
something nice
for each other
at least
once a month.

. . . . .

our cat
bear's
bff
is the neighbor's
husky.
today
he
waited
for bear
in the
entrance
to
bear's
snow fort
(our patio).

bff's
are
the
best
valentines.

xo

glassine

2010-02-13T00:46:00.007+01:00

how much
of what
we see
in a photo
is obscured?
all the action
blurred
or stopped
before
the click
of the shutter.
how much
more can
i tell
about
the photo
when
i pull it
out
of this
withered
glassine sleeve?

this past
year
i feel
like i
have gotten
closer
to my father.
we are very
different
he and i.
and have often
fought
like
cats
over
territory.
but this
year
something happened
and i
let go a little
(so did he).
listened a little.
(so did he).
had a little less to prove.
(so did he).

he didn't get
along
with his own dad.
he won't admit that
now but
my mother tells me
this to be true.
i told him
i don't want
to be
sentimental
about him
when he's gone.
i want to
appreciate
him
now.
i am getting
a little better
at that.

we
are still
so different.

i sent him
a poem
that
i loved
and he said,
billy collins
leaves me completely
cold.

that made me
sad,
a bit.

then he
send me
this poem:

Why the Dinosaurs Died

No one
taught them to say
"Thank you"
or
"Excuse me"
or
"I'm sorry"

Their endless rudeness,
their ignorance of basic manners,
created infinite feuds.

Finally no
one was speaking
to anyone else.

They died of loneliness.

—Linda D. Addison

and
this poem too...

and
i realized
that
we weren't
as different
as i thought.
with
or
without
the glassine sleeve.

thanks
for listening.

xo

post-snowpocalypse

2010-02-11T19:26:00.001+01:00

today
i am
home again
because
our metro
isn't
running
to
my school.

the sun
is shining
and
it's beautiful
{albeit treacherous}
out.
i went out
this morning
to take
a few
photos
with
my diana.

{molly's banana bread}

now i am
settling
in
to
some work,
some knitting,
and
some baking.

xo

sunday loves

2010-02-07T18:57:00.006+01:00

it's beautiful
and sunny
out
and the snow
is
melting.
drip
drip
drip
outside
the window.
i am lazy
and inside
when
i should
be out
photographing
or something.

instead
i wanted
to share with you
some thrifted
scores
i am loving
as of late.

crochet blankets:

{thrifted: crochet blanket}

now,
i am not
knitting biased.
really.
my favorite
blanket
is
one my
grandma
crocheted
that's
in a trunk
back in seattle.
everyone
(including me)
has been
wacko
over
this blanket.
there's something
so appealing
about
color
against
that white
background.
i have
recently fallen
in love
with
ingrid jansen's
stools
.
{photo by ingrid}

i love
the combo
of the
recycled
wood
& crochet.
find
more stools
here.
i hope to
have one
of my own
someday.

stripes & brights:

{thrifted: scoopneck tees}

it was
my
thrifting
score day
for
long sleeve
scoopneck
tees.
they are my favorite.
i hate
collars & buttons.
i blame it
on 16 years
of
catholic
school uniforms.
if i were
to define
my style
of dress
i would
say
color
in the form
of
stripes & brights.
i am particularly
excited
about the
ralph lauren
black & white
tee
with buttons
on the shoulders.
my hair is
super short now
so i
dream of being
half as cute
as this:

abby
pointed me
to these
saint james tees
that i covet.

tiny charm necklace:

{thrifted: windmill necklace}

i love wearing
simple
scoopneck tees
with little
charm necklaces.
i was so
excited
to find
this windmill.
it looks old
and the windmill
turns around.
adorable.

i also
love wearing
my wishbone.
how cute is
this tooth,
typewriter,
camera,
clouds,
and
any of
the states?

now
it's time
to get
some work done
and
then off
to knit
at teaism
with a
friend.

happy
sunday evening.
xo

d.i.y. valentines robot

2010-02-04T18:02:00.003+01:00

wont you be mine?

i never cared
much
for
valentines day.
just another one
of those holidays
to
convince you
that you
need
to buy
something
for
someone.

those long lines
at the drugstore
of men buying
last minute
stuffed animals
and candy
on valentines day
depress me.
but then again
how sweet
is it to
get
a handmade card
or
homemade edibles
from a
friend
unexpectedly...

bears
and bunnies
are nice
but robots
are so much better,
don't you think?

wouldn't it
be nice
to make
a robot pillow
for someone you love?

this robot
is made completely
out of felted
sweaters.
thin cashmere
sweaters
work the best
but any old sweater
will do...
it's a good time
of year to
get rid of
that favorite sweater
with moth holes
or that doesn't fit
right.
or hit your
local thrift store
and get a couple.
my advice is
to get men's sweaters-
they always are cheaper
and bigger.
bigger means
more felt- woohoo!
remember that
the sweater has
to be 100% wool or
cashmere, or
other
animal fiber.

so here we go!

first,
put on this song
to get you in the robot mood.

then,
felt all your sweaters
(read instructions here).

make sure to cut
the arms & legs
out of
the sleeves:

now you are
ready for these
easy steps:

remember,
you can use
a machine
or sew by hand.
i did mine
by hand using
mostly
blanket stitch.

you can
decorate your
robot
any way you'd
like...
use real buttons
i used a small
fabric button maker.
i got at
the sewing store
for $3.
you can make
your own fabric
buttons
using
this guide.

i got
some ideas
from
jes hutch's knitted robots.

let me know
if you
have any
questions!

try not
to fall
in love
with your
new robot.

i did.
it's breaking
my heart
to mail
him off
to his
new
sweetheart.

xo

{cross-posted
on
sew green blog}

moments

2010-01-24T20:52:00.005+01:00

seattle, by the reservoir

today
i woke up
and
the ground
was wet
and
the sky
was grey.
like
a seattle day
i know so well.
strange to be
sentimental
about
weather
i use to
hate so much.

but
i am feeling
sentimental.
perhaps
because
i have
been sorting
through
old photos
to store away
for a while.

for some reason
these photos
caught my
eye
in the stacks
upon
stacks
of photos...

so like
we are sitting
in the living
room on a rainy day
i will share
them with you...

lately
i have been
in love
with
polaroids
that look
like paintings.

my french grandmother,
valerie.
i wonder how
old she
is here.
i wish
i knew her.

i bought
these photos
in an amazing
store in paris.
a store full
of vintage photo equipment
and photos.
i bought
these two photos-
i only
had a few moments
to look around
and i just
had
to have something.

there's an old
woman by school
who has
an amazing
garden.
it reminds me
of
the secret garden.

wishing you
a good evening...
and
a lovely
week.

xo

keeping time

2010-01-18T23:19:00.004+01:00

there's something
so pleasing
about
the same
object
repeated
again
and again
and again.

same form
but different
construction.
different color.
or
simply
the evolution
of the object.

that is why,
i think,
i love collections.

my collections
have changed
a lot
throughout
my life.

this is
what i
am currently
collecting:

1. vintage wind-up alarm clocks
(preferably foreign)

from soviet vintage etsy shop

2. bell jars

3. vintage rubber stamps

from heliopsis etsy store

4. cameras

from my collection

5. old well-loved teddy bears

from hindsvik's vintage etsy shop

. . . . .

what are you
collecting?

. . . . .

some wonderful
collectors:

camilla engman

abbytrysagain

lisa congdon

oh bara

heather smith jones

have a
lovely week.
xo

sunday morning

2010-01-17T19:05:00.003+01:00

there's
something
so quiet
and
relaxing
about
sunday mornings.
i always
think of
this song.

sunday morning
brings the dawn in
it's just a restless feeling by my side

the city
slowly wakes
up
from
the
revelry
of
the night before
and
the sad
realization
of work
the following
day.
there is
the desire
to savor
the free
morning
before
it all begins
again.

grub
and i
trade off
making
a slow
and lazy breakfast
because
grub
hates
going out
for brunch.
so we rarely do.

grub
often makes
french toast.
one of my favorite
things
to make
is the easiest.
my mother made it
for sunday
breakfast
when we
were growing up.

early dawning
sunday morning
it's all the streets you crossed, not so long ago

i am not sure
where she got
the recipe
but it is
so simple
and
so tasty.

she called it
a
mexican souffle.
my alaskan friend
nicknamed it
vegetarian seal
because
it's the kind
of breakfast
you could
survive the whole day on.

here's the recipe:
mexican souffle

ingredients:
6 large eggs
8 oz sour cream
~ 1 cup salsa (just enough to cover the bottom of dish)
~ 1 cup cheese
(cheddar, monterey jack, pepperjack,
whatever goes with your salsa)

directions:
* pre-heat oven to 375 degrees
(you'll need about a 9 inch dish)
* cover bottom of the dish with salsa.
i like to use grub's tomatillo salsa
(if you want his recipe,
you'll have to ask him)

* sprinkle cheese on salsa liberally.
i am very generous with the cheese
* in a seperate bowl, beat the 6 eggs with a wisk.
after they are well beaten,
add sour cream and beat until smooth.
*pour egg/sour cream mixture slowly
over the salsa & cheese layers.

* place carefully in oven
* cook for ~45-50 minutes
or until brown and the middle is firm.
* serve immediately.

this also reheats great
in the microwave
for breakfast
the rest of the week.

eat...

enjoy...

your
sunday morning.

xo

a w a k e

2010-01-15T23:56:00.007+01:00

i awoke
this morning
before light.
there was
barely
enough milk
for tea
but i
was still
out the door
by seven.
unusual.
by 7:30
the metro
surfaced
to cross
the potomac.
it was beautiful.
i was lucky
enough
to have
my polaroid
ready
and i was
somehow
awake enough
{or my
instincts
kicked in}
and
i snapped
this photo.

this weekend
grub and i
hope to take
a drive
out to
the countryside.
it's finally
warm
again in dc.
i want to
see new
things.
new old
things.
barns
and
silos
and
railroad
tracks.

i want
to enjoy
what i have.
food.
a bed.
a home.
my friends
and family are safe.
my heart,
like you,
is heavy
for
the people
of
haiti.
i can't
even
imagine...

i wish that
i had
more to give.
it may not
be much
but i am
giving 20%
of the sale
of anything
in
my shop
to doctors
without
borders.

hope you have
a lovely
weekend.

xo

2 0 0 9

2009-12-31T14:56:00.009+01:00

. . . . .

j a n u a r y

inauguration.
i feel hope.
after a long hopeless time.

baby fifi is born.

f e b r u a r y

a room of one's own.
visiting my brother
in nyc
for valentines.

m a r c h

sea ranch.
grub & west coast pony.
she teaches us to jump.
and we jump.

a p r i l

danish night.
our 11th anniversary.

baby luca is born.

m a y

falling in love with bees.

yearly trip to yarn mecca.

j u n e

grub gets his LEED.
i turn 35. gulp.

baby ruth is born.

j u l y

field work.
bee yard.
my sister visits.
we all go moth collecting.

layoffs
at school.
our lab is decimated.
i learn to hate academia.

a u g u s t

meeting in
new mexico.
my mother & aunt
join me.

s e p t e m b e r

weekend walks
with grub.

meeting in mexico.
an amazing adventure
with grub.
grub turns 37.

o c t o b e r

visiting nyc.
missing friends.
a lot.

halloween!

n o v e m b e r

lab moving.
just coping.

d e c e m b e r

trying
to get rid of
things.
simplify.
finally.

. . . . .

thank you
for visiting
my blog
this year.

happy
new year
friends.
xo

reflections 2009: three. flour. more

2009-12-29T00:24:00.000+01:00

happy belated
holidays!

only a few days
left of 2009.
a little scary,
don't you think?
is it just me,
or does it
seem like
time moves faster
as you get older.
how time
just seemed
to
draaaaag
when i
was little.

well,
before the year
is done,
here are
a few more
reflections on the year past.

. . . . . . .

three. best packaging
four. tea of the year

lisa sent me
tea from andrews & dunham
for my birthday.
the packaging
introduced me
to the design group
at
aesthetic apparatus.
a new favorite of mine.
i am a big collector
of concert posters

so i love
to discover
a new artist...
my favorite tea
is the one called
Thomas Sampson.
thanks lisa!

five. word or phrase.

well, i have a lot
of phrases.
this year i said
it's all the rage
or
we go with the army we have,
not the army we wish we had
(i usually replace "army" with "data")
about a million times.
but my saying
for this year
and
the upcoming year
is
one my mom always said...
"come hell or high water."
as in,
i am going to finish
my phD in 2010
come hell or high water.

six. memorable car ride.

that would have to be
the car ride
grub and i took
from cancun
to chetumal, mexico
in september.
driving in mexico
was both fascinating
and nerve-wracking
but the smells
and sights
are clear
in my minds eye
like it was yesterday.
the smell
of the fish tacos,
that grub declared
were the best
he'd ever had.

(if you knew grub,
you'd know he never
says "best" anything).
i only wish
i had had
the time
and
the guts
(and the language)
to talk to
and
take photos of
the people
i saw.
including
the girl
walking her monkey.

seven. project.

being a part of
habit
in may
and again
this december.

it meant
a great deal
to me
to be among
the words
and visions
of such
amazing women
who i admired.
it was
a part
of my year
that
i will cherish.

i think
i have already
said
too much
but
i will
do a photo
wrap up
of the year
in the next
few days.

what was
most memorable
for you this year?

xo

reflections 2009: one. two.

2009-12-17T03:45:00.009+01:00

i was
sitting here
by the christmas tree
and i
planned to write
a whiny post
about
my shortcomings
and
being overwhelmed
when
i was drawn back
to
this beautiful post
by shari
and thought
that instead
i could reflect
on the good
that came out
of
this past year.

so i will follow
shari's lead...

. . . . .

no. 1: favorite trip

i was lucky enough to travel
quite a bit this year.
but i always return
again and again
to memories
of my trip
to sea ranch each year.

perhaps it is
because
it's the only time
i can relax
and just be.
perhaps
it's because i am
a water baby
always anxious
to return to the sea.
this year
my dear friend
joined us
for a few days
by the sea.
i love that place.
and i cherish
the memories
of each year i
get to return.

no. 2: favorite restaurant experience

although
every time
i have been
to ubuntu
it amazes me,
i'd have to say
that my lunch
at a-16 with
grub this spring
was the
most memorable.
i love to share
a these experiences
with grub
because we can
get completely
absorbed
in enjoying
the food
and the experience.
we don't have to worry
about conversation
or if the other person
is having a good time-
we can just enjoy.
maybe
it was memorable
because
nate appleman and crew
were
breaking down a pig
while we ate.
maybe it was
the unusual
and delicious
bottle of wine,
the perfect pizza,
or
the weird
icy
but
incredibly tasty
dessert.
i can't decide.

. . .

what are
your reflections
on the year past?

more soon.

have you seen
habit
this month.
it gives me
a little joy
each day.

xo

fashion: blazin'

2009-12-15T16:51:00.009+01:00

(blue corduroy, h&m)

catholic school
gave me
a great disdain
for
anything with
collars and buttons.
plaid
and all
things
preppy
were way
to close
to the
uniform
i was forced
to wear
for 15 years.
but it was
the 80s
and preppy
was big.
so what.

(brown velvet pinstriped, h&m- thrifted!)

i once heard
you should
pick
a profession
based on
what you
want to wear.
i dread
ending up
in a job
that requires
a business suit.
ecologist/
entomologist
suits me
just fine
because
no one
cares
what you wear.
dressy
in the ecologist
world
is putting
on
something
clean.
i am considered
dressy
in my field
because
i color
coordinate.

(black corduroy, h&m- thrifted!)

i hate
to say it
but
i blame
my new
fancy
for blazers
on jcrew.
i saw
this blazer
and
this one too.
i started
coveting
blazers.
i found myself
cruising
the blazer aisle
at value village.
i think
they appealed
to me
paired
with
less dressy
clothing
like tees
& jean shorts.

(red plaid, thrifted-
still had original tags!)

my mother
would be
so proud...
she always
hoped
i would wear
something
"more appropriate"
(i.e. something
from eddie bauer).

what
are your
new
fashion
loves?

xo

jenny penny vintage

2009-12-07T21:33:00.003+01:00

my dad use
to call me
jenny penny.
not so very
unusual
for a girl
with the
given name
of jennifer.
like every other
girl born in 1974.

he taught me
how to
drop a penny
into
a mixture of
salt and vinegar
to turn
a dull
brown
penny
shiny again.

every time
he went
on a trip
(this was often
when i was little)
i would make
him a new
lucky penny.
i would make
it shiny
with
vinegar and salt,
staple
it into
an index
card,
and
scrawl
a note
on it.

a few years ago
i found
a whole
pile of
them
in a drawer
of
his dresser.

there
is something
very sweet
and sentimental
about
a father's
nickname
for his little girl.
that's why
i picked
that name
for my
little
vintage store.

i am selling these
things
because i must
but
as a friend
told me
recently-
you can get rid
of the item
but save the memory.
so that's what
i will do...
with the items
i have the most
difficulty
selling
i will
tell the story.
save it
instead
of the item
that i
can no longer
keep.

(like this one)

my store:

items
will be added
often.

hope you
find
something
that
brings
back
sweet
memories.

xo

fashion: legwarmer love

2009-12-02T14:24:00.001+01:00

it was 1983.
i was in 3rd grade.
i remember standing
on the schoolyard
at recess.
looking down
at the yellow painted lines
of the hopscotch
and my new
navy blue legwarmers.
don't get me wrong,
i hated navy blue
then
as much as i do
now
but we could only wear
colors that matched
our school uniform.
navy blue,
white,
or golden yellow.
blue was
the only
reasonable option.

like most girls
my age,
i dreamed of being
a dancer.
but not
one of those
pink,
tutu-type
ballerinas...
i wanted to be
a modern dancer
like those
in the tv show
fame.

i'm gonna live forever
i'm gonna learn how to fly
i feel it comin' together
people will see me and cry

i was never
a particularly
good dancer.
i think that
i just liked
the clothes.
maybe it was
just the 80s
but maybe
it was
the legwarmers.

one way
or another
it's a favorite
item
in my wardrobe
this
season.

xo

this and that

2009-11-18T17:50:00.006+01:00

walking to
work at
the smithsonian
yesterday
i saw a huge tree
suddenly
lose all
of its leaves
to the wind.
they rained down
on
a young girl
in a red coat
that
laughed
with delight.

it took
my breath away.

i need to learn
to enjoy
those kind
of moments.

thanksgiving
is in a week.
i really miss
my family
at this time
of year.
i need to
hurry up
and finish
this damn
phD so
i can go home.

happy
wednesday.
xo

weekend drive

2009-11-03T04:17:00.004+01:00

we took a ride
in the country
for halloween.
i had the urge
to go
apple-picking
or
to visit
a pumpkin patch.

we did neither.

we packed some
sandwiches
from taylor
and stopped
by a winery
to eat them
near a pond
and
a big maple tree.

we took roads
that looked
interesting.

we saw
fields of cows,

strange bags
that hung
from trees,

an old
railroad crossing,

and
a farmers co-op.

we ended up
at
inn at little washington
because
we were curious.
we shared
a glass of french wine
that smelled
like petrol.

when we left
the restaurant
it was dark
and
the streets
had filled with
children
dressed
and excited
for candy.

made me
wish i was
a kid again-
headed out
with my pillowcase
in my pippi longstocking
costume.
ready to fill my bag
with candy
that was sure
to make me ill.

a perfect
halloween.

goodbye october.

hello november.
xo

pupation

2009-10-29T05:43:00.008+01:00

we met
in the spring
but
it was in the fall
that
we fell in love.

how could i help it?
a girl
from
s. california
is not use
to the delirium
of
colors
and
the sweet smell
of senescence
in the air.
or
sidewalks covered
in wet leaves
like the
matted-down fur
of a dog
come in
from the rain.

this
past weekend
grub & i
escaped
the city
to the
horse country
of virginia
for
a wine-tasting
birthday party.

i was reminded
how much
i love
to walk
in the immensity
of this time
of year.
it must be
the
sturm und drang
that runs
thick
in my
german blood
but
it is
those gray days
on the countryside
that put me
most at ease.

when the
cool wetness
of the air
wraps around you.
the musty smell
of decay.
the preparation
for a long sleep.

i often wish
i was like
a caterpillar.
i could crawl
to the soil
or a nook in
the bark of a tree.
slowly
i would knit
my pupal case.
curled up
inside
i could wait
until
better weather
returns.

have a great
weekend.

xo

impromptu

2009-10-27T02:15:00.005+01:00

when i lived
in seattle,
at any moment
of any day
i could call
a friend
or a brother
and
they'd
meet me
for coffee
or a drink
or lunch
in an hour.

on snow days
we'd all
slowly trudge
to the nearest
coffeeshop
(victrola)
and
meet each
other
with smiles
and rosey cheeks.

i miss that.
i miss that
so so much.
i know
life changes
but
i thought
i would
always
live
in the
same town
as my closest
friends.

but they
are all
scattered
across the country.

there are
days
(many of them)
when i wish-
i need
so much
to call
them up
and see them
in the hour.

strange
how hard
it is
to make
close friends
as you get older.
is it because
we aren't as
open to it
as we once were
whispering
all night
at slumber parties?

i wonder.

sending out
hugs
to all
my dearest friends.
from amsterdam
to nyc
to raleigh
to nashville
to tehachapi
to oakland
to portland
to seattle.
and
those of you
that
i have yet
to meet.

see you
in
an hour.
okay?

xo

not 100%

2009-10-19T17:19:00.005+02:00

not feeling
100%
after
a late night
bus ride
back from
nyc
sunday.

but i have
a lavendar
bar
from saltie
so it's
not all bad.

feeling quiet
lately.
hope you
will bear
with me...

i always
get
introspective
this time
of year.

photos from
nyc
later
this week.
xo

setting down my skin

2009-10-08T05:14:00.001+02:00

So I set down my skin. I'm tired.

i feel tired.
like a pile
of dishes
after
a big party.
still left
to be cleaned
before
bed.

I doff my cap to the trees.
I drop my list
and start over.

tonight
i search
hopefully
for
the motivation
i seem
to have
lost
somewhere.

{words in italics from
window music
by
jen currin}.

xo

le weekend

2009-10-06T03:50:00.007+02:00

fall is here
and
the nights
are cold.
i still
don't remember
to bring
a sweater.

the old
habits
of summer
die
hard.

this weekend
was beautiful.
a little
too busy
but
beautiful
nonetheless.

grub and
i took
a lot
of walks.

we
went
to
crafty bastards
{me on
project beltway}.

and
the
farmers
market.

i never
buy anything.
i just follow
grub
around
and
take
photos.

how was
your weekend?
xo

f l e e t i n g

2009-10-01T16:28:00.005+02:00

the last day
in mexico
i spent
the morning
on the beach
before we
rushed off
to the airport.

i found
a honeybee
flailing around
in the sand.
her wings
had somehow
been damaged.
i picked her up
and let her
clean herself off.
but each time
she
tried to fly
she
ended
up
right
back
in the sand.
it was
so sad.
even though
a worker bee
is expendible,
since she has
50,000 or so
sisters
to take
her place,
it is one
of those
moments
when you
are so aware
of the
fleeting nature
of life.
corny,
i know,
but true.

f l e e t i n g :
passing swiftly : transitory

this definition
does not
capture
how the word
feels in the
pit of my stomach.
there is something
inherently
sad about
the word.
something lost.

grub's birthday
was yesterday.
as we get older
it seems
we most often
get depressed
around our birthday.
why?
is it the loss
of time?
the recognition
of how
swiftly
time passes us?
for me
it is a reflection
on what
i have accomplished
each year.
i always
fall short.
why is there
sadness
and disappointment
in that
which is
fleeting?
instead of
the joy
of relishing
that moment-
that year
gone by?

more fleeting
here.

xo

postcard from tulum

2009-09-29T15:54:00.003+02:00

you feel
the
crispness
of autumn
in the mornings
here in dc.
the cats go out
gingerly
onto
the patio.
their paws
are
cold to the touch
when i
pick them up
to carry them in
before
i leave to school.

the change
of seasons
is upon us.

hard to believe
that just a few
short days
ago
i had my toes
in white warm
sand
and was staring
across
an ocean of
12 shades of
turquoise.

yes,
i can't believe it.
but at
the same time
it is
terribly
vivid.

i think
about one day
the most...
the day
we arrived in tulum
and were searching
for an area
to sit on the beach.
it was pouring rain
and we happened upon
a cafe
on a corner of beach
where
the shore
becomes rocky.

a little crook
in the shore
where you
can see the beach
stretch
far south.
we sat and
drank beer
and margaritas
and occasionally
scrambled around
on the rocks.

the tables
were almost
all empty
except for
2 other men.
the slow
quiet
of the
off-season
filled
the cafe.

it was windy
but warm.
we watched
families
play in the surf
and search for
little silver fish
in the tidepools.

xo

hola

2009-09-24T22:25:00.007+02:00

{photo by grub}

home again.

it was quite
the
adventure trip.

it
was stressful
but
wonderful.
can't wait
to go back.

5 days is
not
nearly
enough
time.
it rarely is.

more soon.

xo

quintana roo

2009-09-19T06:50:00.007+02:00

i am off
to
quintana roo
mexico
for a week.

i am giving
a talk
at
the
lepidoptera
(butterflies & moths)
society meeting.

my packing
color scheme
is based
on these
2 vintage
butterly necklaces
that
my sister
gave to me
years ago.
my grandmother
gave them to her
but then
she passed them
to me
because...
well,
i am
a butterfly
(and moth)
biologist
afterall.

i am excited
about
staying
a night
here
{a splurge for grubs birthday}
and
seeing this.

have
a wonderful
week.
see you next
friday!
xo

the neglected banana

2009-09-16T19:04:00.006+02:00

i am in
no way,
shape,
or
form
a morning person.
in theory
i love the mornings.
but
people
who tend
to stay up late
(read: me)
do not do
so well
with
early-rising.
you would do well
to know
not to talk to me
before i have had
my first cup
of tea.
probably
better
to wait until
my second,
just to be sure.

but
i love breakfast,
although
i rarely
eat it.
mainly because
i am
always
always
running late
(refer back
to tendancy
to stay up late).

on the
weekends
i can indulge.

one of
my favorites-
burg's french toast
with
grub's
roasted bananas-
a modified
eric ripert recipe
(you can
watch eric
roast them).

did i mention
how much
i hate
ripe
bananas?
well, i do.
i like most
of my fruit
slighty green.
i am sure
there's some
evolutionary
advantage
to eating
slightly
unripe fruit.
or at least
that's what
i claim.
so i won't touch
bananas
once
they are all yellow
or even worse,
when they
have even
the tiniest
bit of black.
some
neglected bananas
reached
well past
the point
of edible
this weekend,
so
i decided to
try my hand
at another
recipe
from
a homemade life,
glenn's banana bread.

i tend to
associate
banana bread
with overly moist,
heavy
brick-like
breakfast items
but molly talked
me into trying it

.

i might
just
be a convert.

perfect
for
the rush-out-the-door
morning types.
maybe
there's
hope for
my mornings
after all...

xo

weekend film

2009-09-12T20:37:00.006+02:00

on sundays,
when the weather
cools
and
i don't have
to spend
my weekends
feeding
caterpillars,
grub and i
like to
take walks
around town...

come join us...

we discover
a little park
with an
old fence.

and a VW
with
a mustache!

and
of course
we have
to stop
at our
favorite
place
for lunch.

chanterelle
bruschetta
to start.

and then
zucchini
and
zucchini flower
pizza.

yum.

there's
a new
dessert place
across the street,
so of course
i have
to try
a cupcake.

grub always
gets
chocolate.

i prefer
vanilla.

thanks
for joining
us...

i hope you
have a lovely
weekend!

xo

i say tomato

2009-09-09T18:10:00.009+02:00

sometimes
the simplest
meal
is the best.

this time
of year
grub and i
toast
some pieces of baguette
slathered in olive oil
and
slice some
heirloom tomatoes
&
local soft mozzerella.

we
sit and eat
in front
of our laptop
watching
some random show
on hulu.
the door and windows
are open.
we hear
the sounds of
the city
and
bear stalking
spot
on the patio.

. . .

did you hear
the segment
on heirloom tomatoes
on splendid table?
i am curious
about
this book.

what do
you do
with your
heirloom tomatoes?

xo

summer souvenirs

2009-09-07T22:00:00.005+02:00

check out
my post
on
rock art
at sew green.

happy labor day!
xo

a bittersweet plum

2009-09-01T17:50:00.002+02:00

the transition
of
summer to autumn...
august to september
always has
a
certain
bittersweet taste.

it is when
school starts
and
the students return.
the summers
on campus
are quiet,
empty,
and have
a slow
quality
about them.
it's a time
to focus inward.
it is when
the backbone
of the campus-
grad students,
professors,
staff-
get most
of their
own work done.

then,
with what seems
like overnight,
the campus fills
like an
overstuffed pillow.

my walk from
the metro to campus
once filled with
the chik chik
of sprinklers
and
the hum
of dog-day cicadas
is now
a mash of
one
blasting radio
to the next.
sidewalks,
once empty,
are now
swarming
like a
beehive
opened
just before
a storm-
disorganized,
rushed,
disarrayed.

girls
in short short
shorts
and
tiny tight
dresses
that i never
had the guts
to wear
when i was
twenty.

this all
punctuates
the transition
of
summer
to fall.

like
autumn
written in
boldface type.

like the tartness
of the skin
of my favorite plum
that appears
at the market
this time
of year.

so so sweet
inside
with
a faint
bitterness.
a tang
left by
the summer skin.

looking to autumn.
xo

oven love

2009-08-28T21:19:00.007+02:00

i don't like
to cook.
i admit it.

this is often
a surprise to people
because
i love to eat
and
i am very picky
about
what
and
where
i eat
(i have been
known to send back
a grilled cheese
at a bar).

i blame it on
my upbringing.
you see,
my sister suzanne,
who is seven years older,
is a great cook
and loves
to cook.
my sister
is the oldest
and
i am
the youngest
of 5.
my mother
claims
that she once
enjoyed cooking.
i figure that
by the time
i came around
my mother
was damn tired
of cooking.
for her it was
a chore.
so that's how
i learned it.

also,
my father
and mother
have
the exact opposite
taste in cooking
(among other things).
to illustrate this
is to describe
their breakfast.
my father
will poach an egg
in oil
(it makes me
sick to watch)
and will fry
some meat from
last night's dinner
to go with it.
my mother
would be happy
with
some yogurt,
fruit,
maybe a croissant
or piece of toast,
and the
obligatory
cup of tea.
if she ate
an egg, it would be
soft boiled
and she gently chip
the top off the egg
with her knife
and dip
slivers of toast
into it.

so my dad
did not care
for her cooking
and
would rarely
have positive
things
to say
about it.

growing up
under
this
food drama
taught me
at a young age
to
always
appreciate
the cook
and to
never
ever
offer a cook
advice
unless asked.

i was fortunate
enough
to partner
with someone
who loves to cook.
i mean
he really enjoys it.
when he wants
to relax
he cooks.
this is a mystery
to me.
he tells me
that
i facilitate
his love of cooking
because
i wait
patiently
(we learned early
we needed to have
bread & cheese available
to avoid
altercations),
i am always
appreciative,
and
well,
i love to eat.

but oddly,
i actually
enjoy baking.
i realize
it's because
i have a tense
relationship
with the stove
and
i love the oven.
i like mixing everything up
and
then putting
it in the oven.
i love dough.
and,
if i do say so myself,
i have a feel for dough.
i know when it's
too wet,
or too dry
and what to do.
i attribute it
to my years taking
ceramics.
i also like
the science
of baking.
it appeals to me.
i love ratios.
i love
the smell of
yeast.
but i have been
shy of the kitchen
since
we have such
a love-hate
relationship
(i love
what comes out of it
but
i hate being in it).
also,
for most
of our relationship,
grub has ruled
the kitchen.
and i was
happy
to rule
the rest
of the house.

but now
i am eyeing
the kitchen
and new recipes
have
tempted me
to find
my way
back into
the kitchen.

i
envision
more
bread,
pizza,
and
pies
on the horizon.
oh,
and cookies!
because
everyone knows
tea
is best
with
a good cookie.
xo

things in light

2009-08-14T17:13:00.007+02:00

{my new mexico planner}

has it really
been so long
since i last
was
in this space?

what a
crazy summer
it has been.
still is.

i was able
to take
a break
to go to
the
ecological society
meetings
in albuquerque...
then
i went
to santa fe
with
my mother
and aunt.

o'keeffe on arriving
in new mexico
said:

Well! Well! Well!...
This is wonderful.
No one told me it was like this!

that's exactly
how i felt.
i fell in love.

maybe because
i have been
in the east
for so
long and
new mexico
is such
a contrast...

maybe it's
the native
desert-loving
californian
in me...

but
i was in awe.

but mostly
i was
in love with
the light.
i couldn't
get over
the light.

once again
o'keeffe
uses
the perfect
words:

It is not a country of
light on things.
It is a country of
things in light.

at the
santa fe opera
i watched
don giovanni
as the
sun set...
and
slowly
a few
desert moths
were drawn
to the lights
on the stage...

how that light
is
irresistible.
stunning.
disorienting.

i felt
the same
way.

xo

a little this, a little that

2009-07-06T18:33:00.005+02:00

like many of you,
summer
is a busy time
for me.
especially since
it is my last
field season
for my phd
(both a relief
& very scary).

in between
daytime
caterpillar collecting,
intern-managing,
&
nighttime
moth collecting
i have had
a little time
to do
this and that.

drop-spinning classes.
more on sew green...

birthday
cupcake tasting
around town...

sight-seeing
with my sister
(she was in town
for my birthday)...

taking my siblings
moth collecting...

beautiful birthday
cut-out installation
by my brother
(inspired by
fruitless fall).

4th of july
summer roll making...

and
pie-making.

happy belated 4th!

what have you
been up to?

more soon,
xo

the price of food

2009-06-10T20:21:00.013+02:00

i grew up in LA.
we were not
the
farmers market
shopping,
canvas bag
toting,
family biking
type of family.
it surprises me
when i think
back on it...
my mom was
from germany
and gravitated
towards
those things.
she always
stopped at
the roadside
stands on the coast
for strawberries
& green beans
wrapped neatly
in
white butcher paper.
she bought
pasta and cheese
at the italian grocer
who flirted
with
my soft-spoken,
red-headed mother
who always had
at least
2 kids in tow.

i care
an awful lot
about what
i eat.
although
i am not
the chef
of the house,
grub and i
are always
trying
to buy (& grow)
all organic,
local produce.

grub and i
had
a long discussion
(which
i continued
the next day
with
my knitting group)
about
a blog that
he read
which has
received a lot
of press
called
$5 dinners.

we couldn't get
over how
much praise
she was getting
for making
cheap dinners
with little regard
(nutrition is mentioned)
to the
quality of food
she was
feeding
her children.

now,
i totally understand
that many families
need to
cut costs
during these
tough economic times.
but there is
a cost/benefit
depending on
where you decide to cut.
i couldn't find
on $5 dinners
where she usually
buys her food
but if she is
buying
most things
on sale
or
with a coupon
at prices,
such as
chicken breasts, sliced ($1.66)
is this really
the meat
you want
to feed
your kid?
certainly
you pay a price
for buying cheap.
how can feeding
the cheapest
quality food
to kids
(or yourself)
be the best way
to cut cost?
yet americans
will
cut food costs
before
they cut cable
(also here).
my point
is not
to criticize
this woman
for trying
to keep
costs down
but
rather
to question
why cost
is the most
important
consideration.
i would
argue
for
cutting
cable,
your second car,
unlimited texting
on your mobile
but
not
sacrificing
the
quality
of food.

or
as grub
put it,
the sacrifice
on $5dinners talks about
is only temporary...
real sacrifice
is sustainable...
it has to be
or we (or our children)
will wind up
here again.

xo

plight of the honey bee

2009-05-30T22:03:00.005+02:00

thursday
was my
first
full
day working
in
the bee yard.

i love
that
it's called
a "bee yard."
it
amuses me.

i am working
on study
examining
sub-lethal
effects
of pesticides
(imidacloprid)
on honey bees.
it's one
of the potential
contributors
to
colony collapse disorder.

bees are
wonderful
in so many
ways.
i am
even saying
this as
my index
fingers
are still
swollen
from
stings
in my fingers.

i love

...the hum
that
they make
after you open
the hive
and smoke
them.
letting you
know
that
you better
quit
with the
smoke.

...when
they stick
their heads
super
far into
the comb.
all you
see is
their
butts
sticking
out.

...their
fuzzy bodies
move like
one beast
across
a frame
of honey.

i hope
if you
get a chance
you watch one
this summer.
you can
even see
pollen on their fuzzy legs.

if you can,
plant a bee garden.
they really
could use all
the help
that
they can get.

. . . . .

i was
a may guest
on
habit.
only
a few more days
to go...
i am sad
to leave
but
i am excited
about
the new guests
for june.

enjoy
the weekend.
xo

transition

2009-05-12T01:06:00.009+02:00

when
light slinks
away
with
the warmth
of the afternoon.
before
night
silently
returns.

the purgatory
before
the night.

between
becoming
and
done.

dusk.

my favorite time
yet
there is
a
certain
sadness
to it.
the
inevitability
of its
passing.

in
n. carolina
this weekend
for a
friend's
baby shower...
her
little one
is due
in
2
short weeks.

i have
a special
love
for
n. carolina.
i went
through
a great
many changes
during
my
years
there.
a wonderful
time,
a painful
time,
but
a time
of great
friendships.

friends
becoming
mothers
is both
amazing
and
frightening.
a transition
between
a world
you know
and
a world
you
only
perceive.

on
the drive
home
i found out
that
another
friend
was
going
to be
a mother.

will i
always
be
waiting
here
at dusk
or have i
passed
through
to night?

xo

h a p p y

2009-05-11T05:04:00.004+02:00

mother's day
to all
of you moms...
especially
new mommies
out there.

. . . . .

my mother
lives
far away
in seattle
and
i miss her.
i hope
those
of you
that could
had
a
wonderful day
with your
mom.

xo

roid week

2009-05-09T00:20:00.002+02:00

{monday}

this week
was
roid week 2009.
i was feeling
very uninspired
with all
the rain
and clouds
but
i took
one polaroid
a day.

my favorite
was tuesday.
i took it
right before
i got
a bee sting
to the head
(roid week injury).

{tuesday}

{wednesday}

{thursday}

{friday}

special
thanks to
anniebee
who
mailed me
film!

have
a lovely weekend!
xo

a great disappointment

2009-04-30T22:49:00.008+02:00

there are
few things
that can be
either
so wonderful
or
so painful
then developing
a roll of film.

. . .

i remember
my first
camera.
i received
it on
my birthday-
when
i was in 4th grade.
a polaroid 600.
instant love.
my brother,
who has
the most
beautiful
handwriting,
wrote
in careful
b l o c k
letters
my name
down the
back side
{when you
are from
a big family
you always
write your name
on things
that you love}.
he used
one of those
highlighter pens
that
were really
popular in
the 80s-
they
wrote in
silver
with a tiny outline
of color
and
they soaked
through
the page
a bit or
would leave
a little
silver puddle
if you
held them
pressed against
the page.

when i was
18
i graduated
to
the SLR camera.
the canon AE-I.
my boyfriend
bought it
for me before
i left to europe.

this is when
i learned
about
the great joy
of dropping
film off
and
the excitement
of picking it up
to see your
travels
all over again.
moments
that
you had forgotten.

after college,
i moved
back to seattle
and
took
my first
photo class.
this is when
i learned
about the
great disappointment
of
photography.
when you
try
so very
hard
to take
those photos
you see in
your head
and
then
after
picking
them up
and opening
the flap
of the
envelope
you see
crappy photo
after
crappy photo.
that feeling
at the
pit
of your stomach.
a great
disappointment.

today
afer picking
up
my last 2 rolls
of 120 film
i took
in nyc
this weekend,
i waited until
i was on the metro
to open
the envelope.

i was
crushed.

these
were
the only
three
that
i could salvage
that
were
okay.

sigh.
xo

new love

2009-04-22T17:56:00.004+02:00

just got
back
the film
from
my
diana F+.
photos
that
i took
at sea ranch.

i am not
very good
at using it...
but i love it.

it's the closest
i can get
to my beloved
polaroids
now that
i can't
find/afford
polaroid film
anymore.
sigh

can't wait
to take it
to new york
this weekend.

i will upload
more
here
in
the next
few days.

xo

this one goes to eleven

2009-04-17T20:32:00.003+02:00

yep,
grub & i
are
11 years old today.

look how
young & cute
we were
11 years ago.

i am so
very
very
very
lucky.
grub is
an
amazing
person
and
i adore him.

oh,
and i stayed up
late
finishing
my amigurumi.
he's supppose
to be a mouse
but
people
have called him
other
less nice
names.
so i just
call him
clive.

happy weekend!
xo

bench monday

2009-04-13T19:13:00.004+02:00

it's monday.
stand on a bench.

people
give you
the strangest
looks
when you
stand
on a bench.

happy monday.
xo

tweet tweet

2009-04-12T17:00:00.004+02:00

happy
spring
easter
{belated} passover
this
weekend.

my first
completed
amigurumi!

xo

danish night

2009-04-07T17:38:00.003+02:00

each year
for the
last 10 years
our friends
have hosted
danish night.

our friend
peter
has carried
on the
tradition
that
his danish
grandparents
started
years
ago...

you were
required
to
wear
a viking hat.

and
there were
rules.

and
there was
fish.

our hosts were
amazing.

{peter & stacie}

we had
an
amazing time.

new project
to show you
later
this week.

until then,
xo

what i have just learned

2009-04-03T20:55:00.004+02:00

why is it
that
so many
people
like
to collect
shells and rocks
at beaches?
is it that
we want
to take
a little bit
of the ocean
home with us?
where does
the idea
of souvenir
come from?
something
to remember.
as it means
in french-
to remember.

i grew up
by the ocean
but,
unlike my sister
who filled
egg cartons
with shells
she collected
on the beach,
i preferred
to play
in the surf
and get
ice cream cones
at
the snack shack.
i do remember
loving to look
at her
collection
of shells
tucked
away
in egg cartons
where little
sisters
were not suppose
to pry.
{but i did
of course}.

now,
years later,
i make collections
to carry home
from the sea.
to arrange
and look at
months later.
perhaps
she knew
something
then
that i only
have just
learned.

wishing
you a lovely
weekend.
xo

wednesday

2009-04-01T16:55:00.004+02:00

it's
a gloomy
wednesday
here.

i am
learning
to crochet
amigurumi.
my first
attempt
is
a mouse.
my dream
is to make
one of these
but
i have
to finish
old knitted
projects
first.

hope this
guy is
done
tonight.
his name
is
"mies
van der bear"
and
he will
have
a red scarf
because
grub claims
the original
mies
wore
a red scarf
but i am
not sure
i believe him.

xo

blame it on the tripod

2009-03-26T21:47:00.005+01:00

this year,
thanks
to hannah
and her
amazing
photos,
i decided to
take
a tripod
to sea ranch.

this spawned
a whole
new
avenue
of photos.

what started
as nice
{almost} proper
shots,

turned
to madness.

it's
the fault of
w. coast pony,

she is
fond
of
jumping.

on the
other hand,
grub
used
it as
a weapon.

{another perspective}

. . .

more to come.

xo

food & wine

2009-03-25T19:52:00.004+01:00

a quick
rundown of
some
of our
food and wine
adventures.

we always
start our trip
at
A16
in SF.
jet-lagged
and exhausted
we sit,
eat and drink
through
the lunch hour.
grub likes
to sit
at the bar
to see the prep
for dinner.
this year
the view
was
fascinating
but
a little...
gross.

the food
is always
very good.

but the
dessert
was
amazing.

the next day
w. coast pony
flew in
from seattle.

we had
to go
to
bluebottle coffee.

then off to
napa for
sparkling wine
tasting
(this year's agenda)

lunch at
bouchon.

more tasting.

dinner at
ubuntu.

and
we called it
a night.

. . .

finally
off
to sea ranch.

more
sea ranch
photos
tomorrow.

xo

i'm back

2009-03-24T03:16:00.004+01:00

lots
of
photos
to share
over
the week...
not to mention
my diana F+
photos...
if any
turned out!

i finished
a baby
blanket
for the
cutest
little
girl
whose name
means
violet.

more
tomorrow...
i am
feeling
so
jet-lagged.
xo

the plan

2009-03-11T07:40:00.009+01:00

for my vacation.

just like
last year.

i made
a little
purse for
my trip:

it snaps:

i also made
a bean bag-
a custom order
for a gal
named bean.

hope you
have
a wonderful
rest of
the week.

i'll
be back
around
the 22nd
wit photos
from
my new camera!

until then
xo